The Reunion Gift

Twenty year reunions...they inspire so many different emotions, insecurities, hairstyle changes, trips to the gym.  Mine, which happened this past weekend, inspired me to cut my hair for the first time in almost a year and to go a little heavy-handed on the last set of highlights.  And yes, I must admit, I spent most of my time at they gym these past few months repeating the mantra "18 again, 18 again."  But I would have been at the gym already, I swear....K had swim class and I had nothing better to do.

At a deeper level, they may inspire you to take stock of your life...asking questions such as "Am I where I thought I would be?" and "Will people still think of me as the geek from 20 years ago?"  Instead of tormenting myself, I went into my reunion remembering the words of Debi, played by Minnie Driver in Grosse Pointe Blank (one of my favorite John Cusack movies, BTW, and dedicated primarily to the topic of the main character's 10 year reunion)..."Everybody's coming back to take stock of their lives.  You know what I say, leave your livestock alone."  So off I went to sunny California, The Accountant in tow, livestock left alone and a desire to find out about the lives of my long-lost classmates set as my primary objective.

Didi I meet my primary objective?  No.  I made every effort to talk to folks, ask questions, answer questions and gracefully move on, with hopes that I would make new connections or rebuild old ones.  But as the night wore on, I learned my first lesson of the evening, namely, the more things change, the more they stay the same.  I speak, to some extent, of the attendees at my reunion.  As I watched the room and its occupants mill about and begin their preliminary "catching up," I could see that most folks seemed to have a similar initial approach in mind as I did.  However, as the night went on and the drink set in, the scene reminded me startlingly of a high school dance.  People seemed to partition themselves into the roles they played in school, hanging out with those they knew way back when, either in the center of the room (and often the center of attention), dancing along in the outer rings or, standing off to the side watching it all.  Rather surprisingly, I found myself falling into the latter group, and I therefore must apply my first lesson learned to myself too.  After years of developing my degree of sociability and losing my fear of talking to unknown people, I found that I preferred to spend time with those I was closest to and to stand on the outside looking in.  Maybe its because The Accountant doesn't dance, but at least part of it was a feeling of comfort that came from being in the role I so often took in high school.  I was essentially the same, in that respect, despite years of change.

Another lesson learned this weekend was one of sleep and hydration, i.e. if you don't sleep and you don't drink water you will look like you are pushing 40, and no amount of time at the gym is going to change that.  This is why I relegated my 20s and 30s to partying and staying up late.  This is why my idea of a party these days is a bottle of wine on the back porch with The Accountant.  This is why we aren't having any more children.  I love sleep, I crave sleep, I need sleep.  Sleep is my friend, water is my friend.  Wrinkles are bad.

The last lesson learned this weekend, and perhaps the most important one, is that the people that truly matter in your life are the ones that you will find yourself connecting with time and again, despite distance or age or sociability.  And these are the folks that won't care if you have wrinkles or if you haven't seen the inside of a gym since 1999.  I was lucky to run into these people before the reunion ever began, and was fortunate to get the time with them that I craved. The most important connection I made on the night of the reunion was, however, the one that I have with The Accountant, and I see him every day.  Having him there to know some of the people I know and to hear the stories that have never had a chance to be told was priceless.  Having a weekend with him without the girls was....well...unheard of before Saturday.  When all was said and done and the reunion was over, I was glad that I spent a good portion of the evening at The Accountant's side, not dancing, not catching up, just watching the whole crazy night spin around us.  Because having the luxury of time to get to know each other better, even after 10+ years together, was a gift...a 20th reunion gift.  Thanks HHS, we appreciate it.

 This is why The Accountant and I don't dance (i.e. the "white man's overbite")....and this guy is actually a better dancer.